Patron Audition - Hagar Hunter

Darkness. What had become synonymous with heroism and righteousness had once again finally fallen into its place of villainy and questionable acts. One of these acts was taking place right now. Along the quiet coast line, whispers crept up into the night sky.

Krash crept along the docks, ignoring their simple discussions. All he cared about was the prey. He'd heard from Hagar that this was a drug deal, and that's all the excuse he needed. The electrical signal coming from each body stood out in the night sky like a flare, shining a unique signature for each person. He slowly crept forward.

Sailors held their caps low, and moved bags from a ship out as quickly as they could. One of them stopped, dropping his cargo. One of the others came and smacked him on the head, but he responded in a harsh whisper about seeing a shadow move. The others just told him to quit worrying. There wasn't any more hero to stop them now.

This time a board creaked to their left. They all heard it,  and turned to face the shadows. A rolling sound came closer and closer, until they realized what it was, just one second too late.

"Hit the deck!" An explosion rang out, showering the darkness with fire; shards of wood flying all over the deck, some into the sailors chests.

Krash came out of the shadows, a slick, enormous figure.  Muscles ripped along his smooth skin, and held an improbably large head and jaw. Fins sprouted out from his arms and legs. He lifted up one of the sailors by their collar. His voice came out as a deep, gurgly sound. "Your boss thinks he can encroach on my territory? This is my side of the ocean. Tell him to get out or die." One of the other sailors tried to run up and grab him, only to get met by a swift kick to the stomach. He barreled far back, tripping over the edge into the ocean.  "Well?" Krash had kept his gaze straight the whole time, not even having to look to knock the other sailor down.

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-" The poor guy couldn't even get a single word out.

"WELL???" Krash yell out, nearly biting the stupid humans' head off in frustration.

"Yes! I'll tell him. I'll go right now and tell him. The message will be delivered. Delivery of the me-" Krash dropped the poor wimp on the floor, and let him scramble away. The rest, on the other hand…

Krash grabbed them one by one, dropping them all into the water. The few that tried to fight back were quickly silenced. "You have one minute. After that, all bets are off." Krash watched their electrical signals try to frantically swim away, and laughed at their pathetic attempts to hide.

"This is going to be a fun night."

---

Hagar looked into the mirror, tracing his fingers down his newly formed fangs.

"Hm…not quite long enough. Nobody's scared with just green scales. Thankfully, Sean isn't that annoying to deal with, unlike Krash. Remind me to not invite him on patrol for a while."

"Krassssh isss a formidable ally, despite hissss rambuncoussss tendencies. I ressspect a fellow predator. Now what were you were sssaying about needing my help more?"

"Right. Just don't stalk civilians again, ok, Sean? It freaks them out, and you're not that stealthy when you're still walking on two feet. We're here to patrol, not capture prey. Right Krash?" Hagar gave a mental shove to the corner of his brain Krash was sitting, but only got a growl as a response.

"Whatever you ssssay, master. As long as you don't have those itchy sssssshirts on. Pants are bad enough." Sean's excited shiver at the mention of prey didn't encourage Hagar much, but he'd have to make do. They walked back into Hagar's bedroom, checking on his other pets first. The spider was happily spinning more webs right outside the window which overlooked a mere few inches of air before hitting another brick wall. The rabbit was still munching his dinner, hunched up on the dining room table.

Hagar was heading over to grab the snake for a short boost when…

Ding-dong

The animals quickly scurried out of the way into Hagar's bathroom while he went to answer the door. Rabbi kept on insisting to hide them all away, even though Sean said it should be easy enough to get special permission, being a super. Krash just said to eat anyone who objected, of course.

Opening the door, Hagar saw a police officer, who stepped back, eyes wide. He was new at this.

"Y-you must be Animal." He blinked, clearly not expecting to see a walking reptile.

"I believe the sssnake scales must have given me away. How may I assist you?"

"I…uh…right." The officer took a deep breath to compose himself, and continued on, much more confident than before. "Sorry, most supers look like normal humans. I haven't met a shifter so close before. Anyway, we need your help."

"I was about to go on patrol for this neighborhood. Why can't another super help out?" Hagar glanced at the mail left on the doorstep while wondering how quickly he could get rid of this guy. Hopefully he hadn't gotten another stupid notice from those lawyers in 422b out in the Near Westside. Krash kept on messing things up,  it wasn't his fault!

"…so you can see that only your shark form can help us."

"Ah…yes, of course. I'm afraid that I can't help you." What did he say, Sean? I missed that.

Ssssomething electronic was ssstolen, and they need your electro sssensse to track it down quickly. Even though we are perhapsss the best tracker sssssuper in town, it sssssstill sounds boring to me. I prefer ssssssstalking living creatures, not metal.

I have to agree.

Hagar was closing the door when the police officer grabbed it and wrenched it open. "I'm afraid, sir, that you don't understand. With Midnight Strike dead and the tournament coming up, this could be a real disaster. We don't have enough time to track an invisible man before the robot fights!"

On second thought, tracking an invisible man? Sounds like a wonderful challenge. Hagar? What's wrong?"Hagar's heart skipped a beat. That…couldn't…no! "Excuse me, what did you say about Midnight Strike?" Hagar did his best to continue speaking calmly, but an edge of panic began rising in his tone.

"You can't be serious." The officer gave a quizzical look. "You haven't head?"

"No I have not. Please tell me."

"Fine, you must be the very last person in town to know. Midnight Strike died several days ago. The city's without a Patron and they decided to do a tournament to decide on the new Patron. Heck, if you accept this assignment they'll give you automatic entrance. You…did hear me say that, right?"

Hagar didn't respond, but just stood there, trying to hold back the memories.

"I'll do it. But not to enter Patron. This is to protect people. I assume you have a car ready?" Sorry Sean, but you'll have to sit this one out. It's time to see if Krash will save the day.

Well you're no fun. I ssssstill say I'm a better tracker than him.

The police officer nodded, obviously a bit confused at Hagar's behavior, but not wanting or having the time to stop and ask.

"We'll need to make a stop by the aquarium." It's about DAMN TIME YOU LET ME HAVE FUN.

---

As Hagar and the police officer arrived at the aquarium, the parents were quick to usher their kids out of the way, despite some very curious looks at Hagar.

"Do. Not. Touch. Me." Brusque as he sounded, Hagar's plea wasn't quite enough to keep an occasional excited teenager from wanting to shake his hand.

"Can I ride on your back?" Looking down, Hagar noticed a small young girl, and just barely managed to avoid yelling at her. He glanced around for her parents, but they didn't seem to be nearby.

Don't worry, I've got this.

Hagar opened up his mouth, flicking his spiked tongue and letting out a loud hissing sound. The girl scampered away quickly.

Nice one, Sean.

Thankfully, by this point the police officer had made sure nobody else would bother him. Hagar quickly walked around to the back entrance, pulled out a key from his pocket, and opened up the door. He gave a quick wave to some of the other employees working in the back.

The policeman gave a quick nervous glance at the sign above the door. Shark Tank, it said in flowing blue letters.

"You…"

"Work here, yes." Hagar spoke up, finishing the police officer's sentence for him.  "I don't give tours, though, in case that much was obvious. Also, before I forget, I apologize in advance if Krash is…I mean if shark me acts…oh nevermind." The police officer raised an eyebrow but didn't push the matter/ "Now I believe we haven't been properly introduced yet. My name is Hagar Hunter. "

The police officer shook the extended hand offered to him, and didn't get a chance to reply before Hagar began shifting before his very eyes. The green scales disappeared into pale brown skin, and before long hair sprouted out from his skin and head.

"See ya later, Sean." Hagar mumbled.

"My name's Josh actually…" Hagar didn't seem to hear the policeman, as he was already climbing up onto the edge. He began to mutter, "Here little fishy fishy…" He waited until one of the shark's wandering circular paths took it near to the edge of the tank, and dived in headfirst. He had timed it perfectly so that in the time it took the shark to react to the loud noise, he had gained a firm grip on the thing.

"And this is where it gets fun" Krash interjected from the recesses of his mind.

As the shark flung itself around the tank, attempting to dislodge the unexpected hitchhiker, Hagar could feel his body beginning to respond to the contact.

*    *    *

Josh wasn't quite sure how he consistently landed cases where he had to deal with the absolute freaks. I mean, he gets that not every super can have the cool powers, like flight or super strength. And he also understands that *someone* has to interact with them, but why does it always have to be him?

He glanced around at the deserted room and then at his watch. He cursed silently to himself at the prospect of missing dinner with his wife yet again. Two days ago it was the guy with big feet, and yesterday that guy who could manipulate water ph with his mind. He shuddered slightly at the memory of that last one. It would take a while to clear his memory of that one.

He had to admit, though, that this was by far the weirdest super power he'd seen. Hagar went from walking lizard to…walking…shark. That was definitely new. He'd been told about this, but it's hard to fully prepare for watching a man turn his skin grey, grow fins and many sharp pointy teeth. Not to mention many new muscles.

Josh was so lost in his thoughts that he almost missed a rather spectacular summersault performed by Hagar flying out of the water, and landing perfectly on his slimy feet.

"Bring me to the prototype, human." Hagar's voice came out deep and gurgly.

"Right this way, sir…" Yep. Absolute freak.

---

"Good job, son. We'll take things from here." George Robertson, a council member, smiled at Josh. Hagar didn't seem nearly as happy, as his eyes kept on darting around. He also had had a near constant low growl in his throat on the way over, constantly telling Josh to drive faster.

Josh breathed an audible sigh of relief as he watched Hagar walk towards the elevator with George. Glancing down at his watch,  Josh smiled. If he left now, he might make it just in time for dinner, and hopefully could catch the robot fights on the radio.

"He's all yours, sir." Josh walked away as the gate creaked closed around Hagar and  George.

*    *    *

George kept his face calm and collected as always, forcing all the anxious thoughts in this head to keep to themselves. There was a later time to worry about all the influx of hospital patients – thankfully a new doctor super had been able to help get patients out much faster than normal. Now was time to worry about Hagar, aka Animal, who had already begun pacing impatiently.

"You know what they say about caged animals?" Animal waited just a second before answering himself. "They tend to bite" He snapped down on his powerful jaw right infront of George's face, hoping to get a reaction.

He didn't get a reaction. George merely sighed inwardly. Great, another one of those. Supers fighting for honor and justice are so much easier to convince. "We have someone for you to bite, Animal. We'll show you have to find him if you'll follow me right this way. The elevator finished it's creaky climb and halted in a dimly lit hallway.

George led Animal down until he stopped at a door, bringing him into a research room. Animal seemed even more anxious now that he was surrounded by all manner of machines and a fair bit of smoke. "Doctor Conner, if you please?"

A man covered head to toe in soot came up from behind another machine. "Ah, yes, of course. You see, I work mainly in robotics, specifically wireless control over them for the Patron tournament. However, of of our prototype robotic wireless techni-"

"Cut to the chase, doc. I ain't got all day. Show me what electrical thing I need to track down." Animal opened his jaw wide, showcasing his rows of teeth. George nodded to the doctor, moving his hand toward the controller.

"Ah, yes, of course. The device stolen will have an electrical signature like this." The doctor flipped a switch on a controller, adjusting a few dials until he was finally satisfied. "The controls that the judges will be using are slightly different, and more like…this." He adjusted another dial.

"Great! Now as fun as this is, tell me why should I be helping small fish like you in the first place, eh?" Animal coughed at some of the smoke, his voice wheezing a bit from the diesel fumes around him. George made a mental note of his reaction.

He then motioned for the doctor to leave, who gladly made himself disappear in the machine he came from. "Simple. You get free admission into the tournament for becoming a Patron, and we can get those silly lawyers from 422b off your back."

*    *    *

"Patron, eh? What's that again?" Don't be stupid, Krash. It's the head super of the city. And don't you dare go and enter that, becau-

"Head super, eh?" Krash continued, cutting off Hagar before he got bothersome again. "Sounds perfect for me! Finally getting to show you tiny fish who's the real master of the ocean! It's about damn time I got some respect."

George merely squinted. "But only if you find it before its used to control a robot. If that happens, many people could get hurt. The man you're after is a master as escape and espionage. He's able to turn himself invisible at will, and always has a way out. Shadow is the name that he goes by. "

"Hah! No problem for the master of the sea. I can sense everybody in the entire city any time I please. Right now, Josh is driving away about 5 blocks south. Also the puffer fish in the aquarium are being fed right now." George simply nodded as Krash licked his lips at the prospect of eating succulent fish meat. Gosh this guy couldn't be impressed.

Whatever. "I'll get this done, beat up the robot, and finish up my patrol before you can blink. Later, fatty."

"Very well, your robot fight will be in the Arena at 9 sharp. It's one of the last, so Shadow would have already made his move by that point. Don't be late."

---

Krash prowled the streets, sneaking down each alleyway, searching out for any hint of villainous behavior to stop. All he needed was to sense somebody's presence in a suspicious place and make them panic. It was rather fun. He kept a part of his mind on scanning for the prototype, but so far it hadn't been activated yet. He'd already scared off at least 3 groups of teenagers dealing drugs, and was considering just hanging out at the bar.

"Wait, what? You are so not going to get drunk."

"Just try and stop me, Hagar. I do whatever I please."

"After what happened last time?"

"I have a rather fond memory of that time."

"Look, just-" They froze, and both turned their heads towards a buildings several blocks down.

"The rooftop." They said in sync.

"Yeeeeeeehaw! Finally I get to beat somebody up to a pulp! Let's go get that guy!"

"Wait!" Hagar seemed rather alarmed, but Krash just ignored him as he ran towards the building he sensed the prototype. It was fluctuating somewhat, as if he was trying to get it to work properly.

"Wait!" Krash finally arrived at the building, and was heading towards the door when…

"I said stop!" Through sheer force of will, Hagar finally got Krash to stop running. "If you go up the stairs in a place as run down as this, he'll hear you no matter how sneaky you are, and end up running off before you can stop him."

"So? Have you forgotten I can track anybody wherever I so please?"

"Unless a strong electrical signal is masking it, which seems to be happening more often with all this stupid technology, yes. The Shadow sounds like he'd have some kind of escape plan and be able to avoid capture at least long enough to hurt some people with his device. We need to be able to sneak up on him. We need Craig to climb up the sides of the building and knock him out before he knows what's going on."

"You're one to talk." Krash growled under his breath, not knowing whether to be more irritated that Hagar had stopped him, or that Hagar was right.

"Well I had lots of time to think while you were off scaring children." Krash chuckled in spite of himself.

"How do you plan on calling Craig up? You don't keep any gecko skin on you."

"I…don't know. But it's the only way and we don't have much time left." Hagar was adamant about this, and as much as Krash wanted to go off and just smash this guy's face in, he relented.

"Fine, I'm on it. You want Craig? You got him." Krash focused on the electrical signals given off by reptiles instead of people, and after a minute managed to find a gecko.

"You'd better hurry. I think he's just about ready. If he takes control of a robot, then…"

"Shut it, I don't care about your sob story." Krash ran through the alley ways, and quickly snatched up the gecko skittering along the bricks. "But first, a little fun." He snapped the lizard's neck, and stuffed it in his pocket. Wheezing some more, he finally made his way out into a main street.

He then proceeded to snatch up the nearest lady and kiss he straight on the lips before she could even react. He quickly turned back to human in a few seconds, grabbed the lizard from his pocket, and swallowed him before Hagar could realize what just happened.

Krash, remind me to kill you later.

"I... I'm so sorry. You so, I...I just..." Hagar stammered as he felt the gecko start to climbing up inside his body already.

"Oh, my. I've always wanted to kiss a super, but not quite like that."

Hagar blushed and turned away from her. For once, he was happy to be Craig.  

Craig popped his head up and glanced around a bit, getting his bearings.

"Heya guys!" He stopped for a moment and cocked his head.

"Wow, it has been a while."

He turned towards the building, and began to rapidly ascend. Once he got close to the top, he slowed down and carefully peeked over the top. Just as George had said, the villain was sitting atop a robot that looked identical to the ones used in the arenas.

"So what now?" Hagar wondered.

"Well duh." Craig shook his head, "This part is easy."

"No," Hagar said suddenly alarmed.

Craig quickly and silently jumped in the air, and slammed his head onto the roof. He then jumped and roundhouse kicked the robot. It fell over as Craig started jumping up and down holding his foot.

"Ow, ow, ow."

"Well that was an interesting way to do it." Both Hagar and Krash staring dumbfounded at the Shadow who had gotten knocked out in the fall.

Craig's hopping subsided, and he wandered over to the edge of the building.

"Hey, you can see the town square from here." He squinted. "Why is there a huge cage over town square?"

"Oh, they probably set that up for the contest. Speaking of which we need to be heading that way…"

---


"Oh really? You are going to let me do the fighting?"

"Well, it is far too late to change into another form," Hagar said with resignation. "So yes, you get to fight him."

"YES!" Crag did a quick backflip.

"Crag!"

He stopped for a moment, and looked kinda sheepish.

"Ahem, What I meant to say was yes, of course."

The big burly man standing by the door began gesturing emphatically.

"Come on freak, they are waiting on you."

Craig did a little hop, and began walking towards the door.

"Now listen, this isn't going to be a pushover. The robot you are about to face has multiple methods of attack."

"Uh huh." Craig nodded.

They were completely inside the cage now. Craig did a quick spin and admired all of the onlookers.

"My Fans!!!"

"Craig!" Hagar was beginning to feel concerned. "You aren't listening. The robot has been activated! You need to pay attention."

Craig turned to look at the bulky robot now lumbering towards him.

"Ok, now what you want to do is wait fo-"

Without warning, Craig leaped at the robot.

"Woooooooooooooooooooo-"  

And with a thud, the robot smacked him all the way back against the cage wall.

"I am just going on record as saying that I was opposed to letting him fight." Krash interjected.

"Shhhh, I got this." Craig shook his head a bit, and then began loping cautiously toward the robot. As he approached, he noticed the some gears start rotating around its mouth. He immediately rolled to one side and narrowly dodged the jet of flame that shot from the robot.

"Ouch."

"Don't stop moving. Dodge, dodge, dodge!"

He rolled left, and then right, dodging two more jets. Now he was close enough to actually grapple with the thing. He rolled under a punch, and swung himself on to its back. The robot immediately began to spin in circles and pound on its back, trying to dislodge him.

"Uh guys," he yelled while rolling left and right. "What exactly am I supposed to do now?"

"Well, robots always run on diesel, but with the fancy new wireless controllers going on, they also run on electricity and wires and stuff. So I bet if you found some and started ripping it out, that might do something."

"Ok"

Craig flipped over its head, and started crawling around on its chest, dodging the flailing arms. Underneath one of the arms, he found a panel with wires inside. He reached in and with one firm yank pulled them out. The response was immediate. The robot started moving around even more urgently and some smoke began to bellow from deep within its chest. He crawled around to the other side, but the wires there were much larger.

"Guys? I am not strong enough for these"

"Watch out." Hagar snapped as the robot managed  grasp him with one arm.

Craig got a firm grip on the larger wires, as the robot's entire fist suddenly shot entirely off of its arm. The rockets that were propelling the fist, were so powerful that it shot Craig and the wires he was grasping across the arena and into the cage wall. A few seconds later, the robot came to a grinding halt.

---

Hagar stumbled into his apartment, and collapsed on the cough. He'd turned back to human a while back to heal his injuries from the fight, but that had taken so much energy that he was too exhausted to move anymore.

"Woohoo! Awesome job, Craig. That was one heck of a finish." Krash gave his congrats. "I can't wait to see more of this. Those judges were sure impressed. Wait till they see me in action!"

Hagar held his hands up to his head. "Shut up! Just shut up, all of you! Why am I even doing this? Freaking Krash getting me into this thing, and getting me caught up in the moment. I don't want all this attention. I don't want it. I like patrolling on a calm night with nothing but peace and quiet. I'm quitting tomorrow morning, as soon as I get some sleep."

"But don't you want to protect people?" Digger, Hagar's dog personality, spoke up softly. "I mean after all that happened with your fa-" Digger stopped himself as he noticed Hagar turning away, burying himself in a pillow. "Sorry. I'm just saying, maybe you should give it a chance."

Hagar said nothing in response, and only sighed. "Maybe…" He took in a deep breath, and slowly let it out, letting each muscle relax one by one.

Soon he was asleep. His dreams turned into nightmares, filled with fire and screaming from people a robot killed. A robot he could never forget.